Possibilities?

I don't know how to say, how to express, or even know what I'm going through or even a relapse. I am I even ready to take on the possibilities. I doubt myself at work. I just go to work and not come to work lately. Lately I've been thinking over the past the decisions I have made or didn't make. I can't let go of the past reliving that day is still difficult. I wish i could of did more or handled it better. I'm suppose to know that I did everything i possibly could of. If i doubt myself now then how can i be sure I did things right. Life is passing by me and I just can't handle it, I do enough to get through the day but thats only so much. Events on Monday makes you think and reevaluate everything. Life is short, yet i don't do anything bout it. I want to i think i do at least but i can't let go of the past and i guess until i can truly face the hollow within I'm back to square one. Its funny how stuff comes back to haunt you even after you think you've gotten a handle on it. There so many others that i shouldn't be so worried bout me, but then again the opposite is true. I guess thats my flaw. I don't think i have made my peace or healed. Haha i think I'm worse off then before. I would like to know the possibilities in front of me, and if i am making the choices i need to make. I doubt myself at every turn and realize that I don't know where or what to do. It's easier to help and give advice to others but to follow my own is another story. I have trouble sleeping and maybe that has something to do with how I am now. Stress is getting to the pressure life in general. I wish for a possibility...